Some time ago I read an article about helping someone through the death of a loved one. Not the first article I’ve read on this subject as it is sensitive to find the right thing to say so I am often drawn to others thoughts on this subject. This particular article stuck with me some time ago in the depth of my own despair over personal losses in my life… grief comes in many forms.
The question this article suggested to best to ask was “How can I love you the best right now?”. I wish I had the article to quote and if I find it I will add it to this post. How profound is this question? So profound for me that in the depth of my own depression I found myself often asking this of myself. This question is insightful because it automatically puts the person (or myself) in the position of one that is already loved, important and deserving of love. How do you answer that question? An interesting thought especially when asked of yourself and especially when in a state of depression and the idea of being deserving of love is far from what one might actually perceive. It takes a lot to understand that you are already loved… by a higher source, whatever you want to call that source, or by friends and family. How do you love yourself the best in spite of what your perception might be? What do you need more of in your life at that moment? What makes you truly happy? If you don’t know what that is then it poses a path of exploration to find what truly makes you happy. It also puts the idea out there that maybe what made you happy in the past is not what is going to make you happy in the future.
This was recently resurfaced in my thoughts after a dear friend shared something very personal that she was challenged with in their life. Something devastating that led her to question everything about who she was, where she was going and how she could move forward and still hold on to a special person in her life, finding a path together. As devastating as the situation was I was struck by her strong resolve of self, faith in something bigger and the ability to embrace the situation as a life lesson that only made her a better person for herself and the one she loves. While the path is well worn and is still rocky, she found a way to love herself better. And that is what she holds on to when she finds reason to question her faith that she is already deeply loved.
You’ve heard this before… you never know what a person is suffering, they may look calm and chill on the outside but inside they are a ball of nerves and a complete wreck. A small act of kindness may go further than you realize, this is one way to look at the gift of loving someone the best right now. And sometimes it is the best gift you can give to yourself.
What might you need to do to love yourself the best right now? If you’re feeling brave, write it in the comments here and consider that a way to start your path to deeper self love. Sometimes putting it in words makes it more real, and I will send out my own wish for your deeper love of self.
Life Backwards 